“Moo Means No!” — Cow Testifies Against Officer Who Raped Her

Official Transcript

The Court: You may proceed.

Cow: Moo.  Moo.

Mr. Dickstein:  Thank you.  Um, Madam Cow, you claim Patrolman Robert Melia  mooed you is that correct?

Cow:  Moo.

Mr. Dickstein: I guess you don’t find it funny that he mooed you in a town called Moorestown do you?

Cow: Moo Moo.

Mr. Dickstein:  I mean, it is New Jersey.

Cow: Moooooooooo.

Mr. Dickstein: Would you like a Kleenex?  It’s not your fault you’re from Jersey and wear cheap lipstick from 1982.

Cow: Moo Moo.

Mr. Dickstein:  I have one last question Your Honor.

The Court: Give the poor girl some grass and proceed counselor.

Mr. Bovine: Objection!  Leading the winess.

Mr. Dickstein:  I was just taking her to our inner courtroom pasture.

The Court: Overruled.  I’ll give you wide latitude.

Mr. Bovine: (mumbling) I’ll bet Cow has some wide latitude.

The Court: What was that Mr. Bovine?

Mr. Bovine: Nothing.

The Court: Continue.

Mr. Dickstein: Thank you.  Cow, did Patroman Melia moo you four times on four separate occasions?  Moo or Moo Moo.  Answer the question!

Cow: Moo!  Moo!  Moo!   Mooooo Moooo Moooo Mooooo Moooooo.

Mr. Dickstein:  Let the record relect that was a single “Moo.”  Someone get her a Kleenex.

Did you consent?  Did you say “Moo?” Or, ‘Moo Moo?”

Cow:  Moo Moo!

Mr. Dickstein: Thank you.  Nothing further.

Cow. Moooooooooooooooooooooooo.  Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

WHEREUPON, udder converstations were held off the record.

Louisiana Court Recognizes Marriage Of Cousins: Gays and Goats To Follow?

Finally!  A legitimate chance at wedded bliss for kissin’ cousins that are in lovin’:

In a very interesting decision (with implications for same-sex marriage), a Louisiana court has held that the state must recognize a foreign marriage between cousins despite the fact that such a marriage would be null and void in the statem The 1st Circuit Appeals court ruled that there is no strong public policy that would bar such a recognition. The case involved a divorce case where the East Baton Rouge Parish Family Court judge declined jurisdiction.

The unhappy couple were married in Iran. Like most nations, cousins can marry in Iran. Since it is a valid marriage in Iran, the court ruled that it should be treated as valid in Louisiana. For the opinion, click here

Professor Turley goes on to explain how we can draw an inference from the opinion — states will give “full faith and credit” to other states where gay marriage has been deemed legal by the gay state legislatures.   The argument goes that if Louisiana recognizes Deliverance Gone Wild type marriage in Iran, then under the Constitution states will could easily have use this as “persuasive authority” to recognize gay marriage laws of other states.  Gag.

Do you not see your own fallacious post-hoc logic?  Welcome to class sir!

Professor Turley, a brilliant yet empathetic (which is now tantamount to being evil while on Viagra) constitutional law expert at George Washington, would have you believe all states must accept the progressive views of Iran.  Oh Prof!  Your hamartia is exposed for the world to see.

Issabella Rosselini Loves Doggy-Style Sex With A Nude, Naked, Praying Mantis In A “Green Porno” Without Tila Tequila

I’m all about sexual deviance.  However, Isabella Rosselinni and the Sundance Channel take it to a new level of sick pornography by introducing a new world of disturbing fetishes on Green Day.  Unquestionably, this goes beyond the pale of obscenity.  Ever fuck a spider?  That’s disgusting.  Who would ever think of such a thing?  On this issue, I am not indecisive.

Sundance has crossed the line.  First, we had Ms. Rosselinni performing an impossible act on herself with an earthworm.  In the Sixty-Nine Position no less.  A coprophilac earthworm even.  Now the loathsome  Sundance Channel and Rossellini are doing a sequel.

The Tax Day Tea Party Patriots need to march on this immediately!  Green Porno 2:  BeastBangBoogoolo, is playing at a theater near you.  It’s disgusting.  She nails a starfish with no penis.

Happy Green Day?  No.

Attica!  Attica!