You. Yes you my Twitter Account. “Rawls” is it? Or must I agree with your self-imposed emasculation and refer to you as the coy lowercase “rawls?” Whatever the case may be, I have news for you rawls: You are going to die.
Take your last breath rawls.
ORDER OF EXECUTION
It is the judgment and order of this Honorable Blog that on Sunday morning, April 12th, 2009, at 2:10 AM E.S.T., “rawls,” Twitter Account, is hereby sentenced to death by crucifixion (the “delete” button).
This Blog makes the following findings of fact: “rawls” [hereinafter referred to as “Rawls” (have some self-respect sir)] the Twitter Account is a potential menace and must be executed under the Bush Doctrine. It is in fact, a pre-emptive strike, justified by centuries of precedent in blog history.
Rawls, you have the uncanny ability in one hundred and forty bits of data to unravel all the credibility in the world Cube has brought you. Your pithy drivel is hardly worth taking note of. However, in the event someone does stumble across you, there is no reason to kick privacy to the curb and bore people with the banalities of your life. Unwittingly, you volutarily abandon any expectation of privacy you might have left here on the internet. Gaffes are blown out of proportion and the next thing you know Cube is going to be outed for his Jewish women who are midgets with lisps fetish.
Why risk it? Omerta was silenced long ago. Words are twisted and later used as daggers. Always. Loose lips sink ships but I have a depth charge for the submarine I know would inevitably torpedoe me. Everyone.
There’s hardly enough time for the brain to engage the fingertips on a blog let alone this wormhole where life is condensed to one-hundred and forty bits of computer glow. I miss the rusty crank of a pencil sharpener affixed to chalkboards from yesteryear. Blogs can be dealt with. You can think for a moment before deciding whether what you’ve written is an utter dag in the fabric of the web or that unfound gem that’s like Hemingway. Or some shit.
Deliberation. Calculation. Articulation. These are all good things Rawls. You and the rest of your Twitter Account pals are intellectual abominations and insults to writing and formulated thought.*
*Yeah. Up Yours Rawls. Prepare to meet thy maker.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: STAY OF EXECUTION GRANTED