Louisiana Court Recognizes Marriage Of Cousins: Gays and Goats To Follow?

Finally!  A legitimate chance at wedded bliss for kissin’ cousins that are in lovin’:

In a very interesting decision (with implications for same-sex marriage), a Louisiana court has held that the state must recognize a foreign marriage between cousins despite the fact that such a marriage would be null and void in the statem The 1st Circuit Appeals court ruled that there is no strong public policy that would bar such a recognition. The case involved a divorce case where the East Baton Rouge Parish Family Court judge declined jurisdiction.

The unhappy couple were married in Iran. Like most nations, cousins can marry in Iran. Since it is a valid marriage in Iran, the court ruled that it should be treated as valid in Louisiana. For the opinion, click here

Professor Turley goes on to explain how we can draw an inference from the opinion — states will give “full faith and credit” to other states where gay marriage has been deemed legal by the gay state legislatures.   The argument goes that if Louisiana recognizes Deliverance Gone Wild type marriage in Iran, then under the Constitution states will could easily have use this as “persuasive authority” to recognize gay marriage laws of other states.  Gag.

Do you not see your own fallacious post-hoc logic?  Welcome to class sir!

Professor Turley, a brilliant yet empathetic (which is now tantamount to being evil while on Viagra) constitutional law expert at George Washington, would have you believe all states must accept the progressive views of Iran.  Oh Prof!  Your hamartia is exposed for the world to see.

So Professor Turley…  How in the world can gay marriages emanate from a case where the phenomenon of the gays do not  even exist?   Did you not hear the good leader?  Obviously sir, you live in a world of fantasy.  You probably still believe the metric system is really going to come here too.

Iran only recognizes real marriages.  Ha Ha!  Take that Socratic Method!

I’m sure you’d prefer to argue this might also encourage the marriage of man and goat.  (WARNING:  SICK COUPLE ON YOUTUBE.  NO GOAT IS HARMED)  Or woman and goat.  Perhaps even goat and goat!  Get your nose out of the books sir.  No one will ever be announced Husband and Goat:

“People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?” [Democratic State Senator Bullard] asked …

”So that maybe was the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?” … referring to a Connecticut case where a woman’s suburban chimpanzee went mad and was shot.

Meg the Goat may have been legally defiled in Florida, but, that will not lead to this bizarre world of husbandry you clearly speak of Professor.   Your conflation and slippery cliche will never force Florida to follow the laws of Louisiana and by extension, Al Quaeda In Iran.

You liberals and your goat rights.

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11 Responses to “Louisiana Court Recognizes Marriage Of Cousins: Gays and Goats To Follow?”

  1. Diana Says:

    LMAO, Cube! I love the way you make an argument, making the logical leap from incestuous marriage to gay marriage to animal “husbandry”. Also like the tag “I now pronounce you husband and goat.” Even though I love your satire, it’s great to see substantive judicial precedent-setting news thrown in (I KID!). BTW – I think it’s Jonathan 😉 Good post!

  2. Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

    excusez moi,
    but if first cousins couldn’t marry, then I -and centuries of my ancestors – wouldn’t be here today.
    and just since when have marriages between first cousins been unrecognized in Louisiana?
    news to us.
    my favorite 80’s divorce was when 2 friends from highschool were breaking up and the the wife argued that she had to have THAT table, since it was her grandmother’s,
    and the husband said,
    “So, she’s my grandma too.”
    bottom line is that we don’t like to marry people that we don’t know where their families came from.
    who do these people in baton rouge think they are.

  3. Pundit Says:

    Rudy Giuliani never met a cousin or goat that he didn’t want to marry or at least try to honeymoon.

  4. Peggy Says:

    OK, Cube. HAMARTIA??? What’s with the funky words. First you go Socratic, now you’re channeling Aristotle. Here you are talking about lots of different kinds of marriage and you’re going all Greek on us. What’s the deal.

  5. John in Philadelphia Says:

    My hamartia is bigger than Professor Turley’s.

    • Cube Says:

      Ha! His blog is so great. I need to add it to the blogroll.

      Just how big is your hamartia.

      Dunnu na na nu. MY HAMARTIA.

  6. RyboSlybo Says:

    I thought everyone in Louisiana that is married were already cousins anyway… This is news to me…

    BONG!

    • Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

      rybo,
      you are soooo right.
      that’s why it’s so offensive that those fools in baton rouge think they can retroactively sanction kissin’ cousin marriages now,
      when we have centuries of papal dispensations that already did that in contemporary times.
      the nerve.

  7. DOMA Defense ‘Apology’ Should Have Come From Top of White House Ladder « Daily Dose Says:

    […] noting is that, at least in Louisiana, incestuous marriages now enjoy more legitimacy that same-sex marriages.  No, I am not kidding.  If the administration’s argument is that this was an apolitical […]

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