The Thorn Birds Part III: Father Cutie Converts, Marries, Preaches Forgiveness and Fornication (UPDATE: AND GETS SUED)

You might remember the story of Miami’s Father Cutie, a/k/a Father “Oprah.” To recap, Father Cutie got caught with his hand in the thong jar and left the Catholic Church for some skank rather than stay true to God.

Good news heathens!  He’s back.  He’s boning.  He’s an Episcopalian preacher man.  And, Padre Cutie exchanged nuptials with his sweetie from the sands of South Beach:

The Rev. Alberto Cutie and Ruhama Canellis were married by a judge in Coral Gables, according to Miami-Dade County court records. No other details of the wedding were known.

It was the latest in the public spectacle that started when photos of Cutie embracing his longtime girlfriend surfaced last month.

Amid the scandal, Cutie was removed from his South Beach parish, protesters marched to support him, and he departed from Catholicism to become an Episcopal priest …

Canellis, 35, met Cutie in church. The priest said they were friends for years before becoming romantically involved. An e-mail to Canellis prompted an automatic reply that said the account was not being checked but to “keep us in your prayers.”

Cutie remains, technically at least, a Catholic priest, though the Miami archdiocese has barred him from celebrating Mass, providing the sacraments or preaching. Only the Vatican can fully remove him from the priesthood.

The Catholic archdiocese declined to comment on the marriage. A message left with a spokeswoman at the Episcopal Diocese of Southeast Florida was not immediately returned. Cutie gave his first sermon before Episcopalians last month, but must meet other requirements before becoming a full-fledged priest in the religion.

Once again, religion makes sense to me.

*Hola!  Me espanol no es muy bueno, pero no es muy malo.  Si tu quieres pictoras um… clicko the linkos.

UPDATE: Father Cutie along with a local police department just got sued by his bride’s ex-boyfriend.  Welcome to Miami!  Wedding Cake?  No Father.  Your little tryst will not go unnoticed by God.  That’s what you get as a devil worshiping pawn of Satan.  A lawsuit.  Yeah.  Feel the wrath of God as you live in sin and break your vow of celibacy.

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10 Responses to “The Thorn Birds Part III: Father Cutie Converts, Marries, Preaches Forgiveness and Fornication (UPDATE: AND GETS SUED)”

  1. Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

    this reminds me of when the priest who ran our youth group ran off with the catholic school’s valedictorian, who was also president of our youth group.
    it was really shocking to everyone because the concensus, right up until they eloped for graduation, was that she was a lesbian.

  2. Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

    duh-call spell check and get me a stenographer.
    “consensus”

  3. Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

    pcl,
    j’ai ne shier toi not.
    what’s really funny is that those oil boom days were so wild, that it was only the fun gossip for a few days / a week / or so,
    then something else fun happened.
    anyway…. moral of the story:
    they are still together and grandparents now.

    • PCL Says:

      Seeee, Louis—sin pays. LOL!!

      Now you tell me, is the dude upstairs (for those who buy into that nonsense) going to turn away a grandfather who was once a priest and is still married to a woman he ‘reformed’ from lesbianism? Hell, I would think he earned a ‘get into heaven free’ card.

  4. sekanblogger Says:

    Man, he must be all worn down to a nub.
    Jumping through all those hoops to have his cake and eat it too.
    Oh well, at least he’s still immortal.

  5. Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

    yeah, ..that’s the problem. we live forever and ever, and ever, amen.

  6. Cube Says:

    I’m thinking I become worm food, so, I just might as well make all the off color jokes I can while I’m still breathing. No offense.

    • Louis IX KingofFrawnce Says:

      but that’s just the physical molecules, the consciousness by where the universe knows it exist, last forever and ever and ever.
      says so in the bible,… and a TV show on 20th century modern art said so, too.

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