Tonight, to commemorate President Obama’s 100 days in office, I’ll be reading the poetic stylings of Gonzalo Cordova on his Liveblog at Comedy Central’s Indecision. Big Daddy starts his teleprompted special at 8:00 EST. I will be naked. UPDATE: Yeah. My folks stopped by, so I couldn’t really elucidate my thoughts on fingering Michelle Obama. Humbly, I apologize.
The show will be on every major channel but FOX. They are broadcasting Lie To Me — a show about subliminal messages. How fucking cool is FOX?
So, you might be looking at the above caption. Thinking it rude or crass. Don’t blame Gonzalo for speaking truth to power. He and his team of scientists had to work plenty hard to decipher President Obams’s body language. I mean, it’s The First Lady’s vagina. Gonzalo’s skills will come in handy when Obama meets with Chavez.
This picture is my favorite memory of President Obama’s first 100 days. What’s yours?
UPDATE PART DEUX! I’ll be liveblogging here too. Feel free to write one-liners as Barack does his thang. I don’t care what your political persuasion is, just make it funny kids. It reminds me of something…
7:56: Reports from White House insider claim Bo the dog will be on stage and making love to a unicorn under a rainbow.
7:58: Watching Chris Matthews on MSNC. “Something connected” with the people. Maybe it was jizz in my eye. Crap. Olbermann. I thought he moved to FOX.
8:00: Obama enters. Pig Flu!!! I recommend the children be forced to live with pigs. Barack is far too kind to children. And pigs. Cover your penis with a condom if you fuck a pig. And, cover your mouth when you cough.
8:05: Barack’s not satisfied. He will only be satisfied when he controls the universe with the mind control device you are reading right now. Obey! Consume! Multiply! Barack!
8:06: The President intends to cut programs. One of them is the Grand Ol’ Party.
8:08: “Now’s not the time to panic?” No way. PANIC! All Pigs Must Die! Use bacon substitutes for Christ’s sake. What are you? Un-American?
8:10: PCL made it over to CC. She stole my lines dammit! Impeach PCL! (From Tommy’s fan club)
8:14: “GM has a lot of good product.” Yeah. Like The Presidential Blow.
8:20: Obama on “torture” to sum up: “I’m a pussy.”
8:22: Yes. The “ticking clock” question. His answer… doesn’t answer the core question to the question that was being asked in the form of a question by a guy who gets paid to ask questions. Obama is one sly dog. Albeit, a Muslim Dog in bed with the enemy. Mistake or mass death march on humanity in the form of torture? I think he ducked the question. Like the dude who got shot in the face by Cheney should have done.
8:26 “Spectacular Bombings In Iraq?” They were right. Obama’s a bomb lovin’ terrorist. I’m getting a PUMA card. And a Birther card. And a Muslim card. Off with Bo The Dog’s Head!
8:28: Can you believe there is a reporter named “Chip” in 2009? What a dork. “Chip.” Dude. Change your name. Are you kidding me? “Chip?” And, to top it off, a guy named “Chip” has street cred because Barack called on him. You suck Barack. But I love you.