Pirates! The Video Game: An Obama Mind Control Production


I know this isn’t XBox. It’s wrong to think of Barack wasting Somalian Pirates that way. But, is there merit to me enjoying watching a pirate meeting his demise?  At the hands of Barack?  With a butt dangling from his lip and an assault rifle trained on a Somalian Pirate’s skull?  Someone call EA Sports.  Or Disney.  Whoever has the rights to toasting Somalian Pirates of the Somalianbean.

I’m sorry. But that shit would be tight. Obama should market this electronic “nerdgasm” and stimulate the economy even right-wing bloggers could not resist.  Yes.  I mean, they could always use the Larry Craig Avatar if not happy with Barack.   Did I mention Pirates! comes with a virtual reality kit!  The realization of our master plan.  Of His Plan.  The universe can be brainwashed overnight. Groovy.

We set the mind control devices not only in TV sets, but in Playstation 3’s and XBOX 360’s. Yeah. Before you know it, Barack is Emperor of the Galaxy. All because of a Pirate!.   Barack is a bad muthu… shut your mouth!

I’m not a gamer.  But, Pirates! would be one kick ass first-person shooter.  Or slinger.  Become Barack.  President, love machine, and pirate killer.

Barack can roll up in some stealthy sub.  Get points for finding treasures.  Bonus if you find his hidden manger in Africa.

Since the 2nd Amendment is coming to a grinding halt, Barack comes equipped with a sling-shot.  And, instead of blood spewing out of a dead Pirates head, there could be rainbows and Care Bears.  For the kids and shit.

And they say bloggers just smoke pot and eat Cheetos.

>: Click To Log In.  Become Barack.


39 Responses to “Pirates! The Video Game: An Obama Mind Control Production”

  1. Michelle Says:

    I have never eaten Cheetos….

  2. cube1122 Says:

    I’ve never poked smot.

  3. RyboSlybo Says:

    Absolutely Hilarious! What a grand idea CUBE! Although we have to discuss your weapon choices. A slingshot!?!? No I think we should get more in line with “Barrack the Barbarian”. Of course I prefer guns but if we are going with the anti-2nd amendment version which I would say would piss me off. How about some battle axes? A big fucking sword! Nothing as effective as a good old fashioned trident right in the skull of some Pirate douche bag!

    You and Michelle need to lay off the Gaunga Buds and the Cheetos! You fucking Hippy Pot Head Scum!!! LMAO!

    Your Blog has me LMAO Cube! And I’m not even Liberal Scum!!!

    I Love You Guys!!!




  4. Michelle Says:

    Rybo I don’t do that anymore, and I never have eaten cheetos, I think they stink and they gross me out…

    and Im not a hippy…do I LOOK like a hippy?

    hahhahahahhahahah, I am pretty chill and laid back, but its not because of anything outside of myself…lol

    maybe Im having flashbacks…can that happen?? I mean, does any of us really know??? can you retrip? after 20 years?

  5. RyboSlybo Says:

    Too funny Michelle!

    And let me say… you are a lovely lady and my apologies to you! ; )

    As far as flashbacks are concerned my understanding is that if you have ever experimented with LSD then yes, it is possible for you to have flashbacks up until the day you die but is not common. From what I have been told LSD resides in your spinal column forever once it has been consumed. Now I am not advocating the use of this substance. LSD is the reason why I sobered up for some years and had to get my head screwed on straight. All though I did learn some valuable lessons. Marijuana will not give you anything but a smile and a craving for those devilish Cheetos!

    And speaking of Cheetos… The Red Hot are my Favorite!


  6. cube1122 Says:

    Level One: The Moonlit Beaches of Somalia.

    Under cover of night, Barack parachutes onto his native soil. The Cradle of Civilization — Africa. He’s gotta keep his birthplace a secret.

    Silence all Somalian Pirates trying to out Barack’s true birthplace by reading Audacity of Hope backwards while playing Revolution Number Nine forwards.

  7. RyboSlybo Says:

    Remember the good old days? Pong Anyone? I was a Mario Brothers Fanatic when I was a kid. When I beat the original Super Mario Brothers my Mom let me play the song of Victory at the end with Mario and the Princess happily ever after and it really pissed off my sisters. They wanted to watch something on TV but my Mom let me have my moment and I left the TV on that screen with the song, Mario, and the Princess for an hour and I thought I was the biggest stud.

    Ah… .

    The cool thing about gaming these days is that you can play online with people from all over the world. I have met friends from different Nations and States as well. It is fun to take on a Texan in a game of 1 vs. 1 First Person Shooter, especially COD. Allthough I usually take a beating. (sheeesh! kids these days!)

    The point is that maybe if our Nations wanted to they could wage their wars via Team Death Matches via the Playstation Network or Perhaps X-BOX 360 Live. And the teams could be balanced in a way to insure that we would still remain powerful and other Nations like Iran would still be no match for the US… We could base a teams strength and weaponry on a Countries assets in $$$ or something along those lines…

    wait a minute…

    I think we might get screwed on that exchange!!!


  8. cube1122 Says:

    >: RyboSlybo: You are currently logged in as Barack.

  9. Peggy Says:

    Just keep talking, folks. I’m from the good, cheap booze + good, cheap sex = the good life generation. The last game I was any good at was Q-bert. I’ve changed my mind, Cube. Your blog is not the opiate of the masses. It is truly a learning experience.

  10. cube1122 Says:

    <: Peggy: You are currently logged in as Barack.

  11. cube1122 Says:

    :< Michelle: You are currently logged in as Barack.

  12. Michelle Says:

    RyboSlybo Says:

    April 13, 2009 at 8:16 pm | Reply

    awwww, well aren’t you just a sweetie….

    nope, no LSD for me, I only partook in the herb many ions ago…

    Im logged in as Barack???


  13. Michelle Says:

    Im doing the electric slide move in the Funky President Video…

    known to slay pirates with each slide move…

  14. cube1122 Says:

    <: Barack does the Electric Slide in a remote location on a Somalian beach. Pirates notice his horrific dance by the Tiki Bar where visitors gather to remain unnoticed as foreigners. Pirates wonder what a gay ninja is doing in Somalia. Barack wonders what a gay Pirate is doing in a Somalian Tiki Hut.

  15. PCL Says:

    I’m not playing unless a pirate ala Johnny Depp is involved.

  16. cube1122 Says:


    >: You are logged in as Larry Craig.

  17. PCL Says:

    LOL! Bite me Cube!

  18. cube1122 Says:

    >: OBJECT OF GAME TO KILL PIRATES. Make decisions in the shoes of Barack as a Ninja. PCL must make decisions in the shoes of Larry Craig. @PCL You are in a bathroom stall in a Somalian Airport. A man next to you in the stall asks if you can spare a square. What do you do Larry?

  19. PCL Says:

    Does he sound anything at all like Johnny Depp?

    • cube1122 Says:


      >: Larry, you take the toilet paper from underneath the stall and are kidnapped by a Somalian Pirate named Stan. His henchmen, Strom and Dick lock you in a room with loud speed metal and Rush Limbaugh taking a bath in Crisco Oil.

  20. Michelle Says:


    this is too funny

  21. PCL Says:

    OMG! Bad Image! Bad Image! Tilt! Tilt! Not nice Cube!!

    • cube1122 Says:

      PCL (use the reply button; this is serious — you have to save the world and you’re in a room with Rush Limbaugh bathing in Crisco

      >: You move closer and get into a bathtub of Crisco to whisper something into Rushs’ ear.

      HINT: You may want to get out of this situation. Then again, you’re Larry Craig. The choice is yours.

      • PCL Says:

        LOL! First off, you little shit–get your mind off of me in a bathtub with Crisco oil with Rush or anyone else you might be thinking of.

        Secondly, here’s how Larry would handle it:

  22. cube1122 Says:


    >: You and Rush Limbagh lube up with Crisco, dance a tango, and snort OxyContin from each others armpits.

    • PCL Says:

      LMAO!! You are so disgusting! Just can’t get past me with Crisco, huh? The whole Rush thing is a little disturbing though–he’s not my type at all. I am NOT a ‘chubby chaser’, not that there is anything wrong with those who are.

      But how presumptuous of me, maybe it’s not about ME with the Crisco–maybe you are fixated on Rush with the Crisco. Which is it lawyer boy??? LMAO! Damn, you would be fun in a bar.

      • RyboSlybo Says:

        Level 2

        Cube and Limbaugh in a bar with a tub of Crisco.

        PCL shows up and she’s already drunk. Hits Cube over the head with a sausage! Limbaugh obviously very jealous that PCL got to hit Cube with her sausage before he had the chance to pull out his challenges PCL to a duel. However PCL is out of Sausage as she used all 12 inches of it on Cube. Coming out of the Bathroom Larry Craig notices the commotion and tells Limbaugh to join him in the mens room. Giving PCL enough time to have another shot of whisky and reload her sausage. Meanwhile RyboSlybo and Barack the Barbarian are chilling out in the parking lot hot boxing the VW Bus. Cube suddenly comes to and screams! “WHO STUFFED ME WITH THAT CABASA!” PCL now feeling a bit saucy from the 12 shots of Whisky she just downed yells “It was Craig! He’s in the mens room with Limbaugh!” Cube downs a shot and heads into the mens room never to return… PCL, now passed out cannot come to the rescue… Rybo and Barack are now waiting on a Pizza delivery wondering what is taking the driver so long and decide to load one more bowl to kill the time. Who oh who will come to Cube’s rescue?


  23. cube1122 Says:

    >: RyboSlybo is logged in as Larry Craig.

  24. PCL Says:

    LMAO!! Ryan!!! LMAO!!! LMAO!! Even my AA here is on the floor laughing at that one. Oh you children of preachers!

    FYI: I never touch whiskey, Ryan. Next time–make it a few bottles of Pinot Noir.

  25. cube1122 Says:


    (thank you for visiting my blog. fuckers)

    • PCL Says:

      LMAO!! Okay! Bamn!! They’re dead–killed by one of those BIG GUNS I so dearly love. (LOL)

      • RyboSlybo Says:

        Well I could kill a Pirate…

        But things are pretty chill out here in the VW…

        ; )

    • PCL Says:

      Cube is doomed.

      • Peggy Says:

        PCL, no need to worry about Cube. Let’s never forget he’s a lawyer and they always come out ahead. As we speak, he’s convinced Limbaugh to lock Larry Craig in a stall and give him a full roll of toilet paper to keep him occupied and out of trouble. He is now on the phone negotiating with MSNBC for a full prime time hour featuring Limbaugh. The working title is “The Joy of Living in an Alternate Universe”.

      • PCL Says:

        LMAO!! Peggy you are the best!!! You better be back to the show on Saturday–we need a return to humor over there.

  26. cube1122 Says:

    Ok. This worked like a cheap hooker in Times Square. Well, the good ol’ Times Square.

    • cube1122 Says:

      I’m not sure that makes sense. Hookers worked pretty hard before Rudy in Times Square.

      • RyboSlybo Says:

        Are we talking about butt pirates here?

        Barack the Barbarian vs. The Butt Pirates!

        Arrrggghhh!!!! Ye Matey’s drop ye drawers or ye walk thee plank!

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