The trouble with drivels.
An “article” caught my gnat-egg attention span long enough to spot this huge pile of cyber-chlamydia worth mentioning here on this scholarly blog.
Warner Todd Huston, a blogger at Red State [herenafter referred to as “Red Planet”], had a massive upheaval of beanies and weenies, bile, barbed-wire, and a bullshit objection to a private screening of Star Trek at The White House.
Ladies and Gentleman. Cyber-Trekkies of all ages! Step right up and witness the most ginormous and eye-popping title for an article worthy of submission to The Guinness Book Of World Records: “Noblesse Obligee: The One Wants his OWN Star Trek Showing. I know Spock Mr. Obama. You Are No Spock.”
Look, before I block quote and briefly disembowel this faux-piece, I do so realizing it will be more fun to agree with Red Planet. Argument from an absurdity is not Warner Todd Huston’s (of Compton, L.A originally perhaps) intent when he penned his prose. The effect is the unintentional surfacing of ramblings resembling a low-grade moron. An absurdity. Harleywash. A fellow so bent on keeping Star Trek to himself, his use of post hoc reasoning is as close to the word “logic” he will ever get.
I will repeat this later, but it bears mentioning now: There is absolutely no defense, none, to the Red Planet endorsement of this work as being funny. One, Red Planet is incapable of comedy. Two, this isn’t funny unless you like limp penises. C) You have no defenses except my better argument on your side at the end of my brilliance.
Therefore, much like this avante garde wordsmith, shortly I shall literally agree with the Prince of willful blindness. Why? Why not? It elucidates the evil Star Trek analysis to a tee when done by me. I love playing The Devil’s Advocate.
But first, off to leave intensives all over cyberspace and eviscerate Red Planet. Here’s what this blogger, like me, Dickens all over the place:
Of course, it all makes one wonder how one of Star Trek’s titular characters might view Obama’s demands? One might imagine that the self-centered assumptions of privilege would not be looked upon as anything other than a gross example of the human failing of arrogance born of a too healthy dose of self-esteem.
It’s all not very logical. No, not logical at all,
Yes. That just occurred to me. WWFKD? What Would Fucking Kirk Do? Perhaps consult the history books and learn that private screenings at The White House have been held since the release of, oh I don’t know, BIRTH OF A NATION?
The family theater was converted from a long cloakroom in 1942 when the current East Wing building was constructed. It overlooks the sculpture garden that Hillary Clinton established. It has about 40 well-upholstered seats, set behind four big armchairs originally installed by Dwight Eisenhower. For many years, the decor was dominated by white curtains with a red floral design, but in 2004, it got a makeover in red.
LBJ filming a speech on Vietnam in 1968
The room is occasionally used to rehearse major speeches, like the State of the Union address each January, but much more often it is where the first family can indulge in one of the luxuries of the job—a movie of their choice screened at any time of day and night for themselves and their guests, often sent direct from Hollywood before its release.
When the first East Wing was built in 1902, this part of the gallery was used as a cloakroom for the many coats and hats of guests visiting the mansion. Guests would proceed into the ground floor of the Residence and assemble in what are today the Library (ladies’ parlor) and Vermeil Room (gentlemen’s parlor) before the event officially began.
(adapted from the Guardian Unlimited)
The first film to be shown inside the White House was The Birth of a Nation, a racist epic that celebrates the Ku Klux Klan as America’s saviors. Woodrow Wilson screened it in 1915 (probably in the second floor Central Hall), in part to repay a political debt to southern supporters, and such choices have tainted his place in American history ever since.
After the jump to warp speed (hahahahahaha, your hackneyed cliches were cliche before they became foreseeable cliche Mr. Logical!) I’ll be happy to show you some pictures of President Bush, Kennedy, Clinton, Eisenhower, and others who have all screened movies, not gone to crowded theaters, and that’s been done since movies were invented. By every president. You’re going to have to find someone to remove that broomstick from your rectum. Sir.
I’m just going to say it before agreeing with this blogger. I hardly ever use the following word: “Lie.”
Red Planet lies. Busted. Here on Cube. Your hack site won’t make a shit’s difference at all for anything. I’d rather piss my money into Limbaugh’s mouth. You make him look like Jane Fonda.
Hell. That was harsh. I mean, all I had to do was visit “The White House Museum.” You might not have heard of it. The Official White House Museum Website chronicling the history of the White House Family Theatre. Nixon screened 400 films there ironically including, All The President’s Men. No sir ree Boob. Our friend at Red Planet flat out lies:
Certainly, were I the Übermensch-in-chief, I’d also imagine that these same film producers couldn’t possibly expect me to go to a public theater and be forced to sit with the “people” to see this flick, of course. I’d know that the film’s creators and stars would have the good sense not to expect me to have to sit among the sweaty, loud, unschooled masses, that great unwashed. These filmmakers are smart folks, after all I would know.
So, were I the king of the world, I too would give Paramount Pictures a call and demand that they set up a free, personal screening in my super cool movie house built especially for the president.
This blogger is so full of horse puckey, his eyes must be a deep shade of brown.
One more thing before the fun part. Hemingway goes on to say:
Of course, I’d have to jettison every ounce of self respect I have as well as fall to a nearly psychotic view of my own superiority to assume that the world should stop and cater to my every whim. I’d have to be completely unaware that my actions could easily be seen as one of arrogance, one that reveals a disregard for those I am supposed to be leading, one that ignores the concept of being a servant to the people.
With that in mind, what does one think when one reads Politico’s latest little report that reveals that President Barack Obama has called the Star Trek folks up asking for his own special, private screening of the franchise re-boot?
I realize you lie to corrupt those with tunnel vision who visit the “site.” They are inclined to believe such. You know this. It’s essentially Red Planet’s stated modus operandi. However, why your reader’s spinal cords do not make contact with their brain stems, stem from the fact they probably didn’t go to Politico and read Salon or the other articles the blogger cites to.
When one does read Politico and the articles they reference, Behold! Authors who write pieces of wit and humor (not done by Red Planet — leave the satire defense for yo momma).
In fact, not one media outlet Red Planet cites to as authority even broaches with a scintilla of thought hinting at the bird droppings passed of as writing to a readership I’m convinced ate some bad acid at a Dead Show and are now Born Again.
The blogger manages to turn a great J.J. Abrams flick into a political football that is flat. Good job Red Planet. I don’t even feel like doing satire by arguing from the absurd. The absurdities plopped in the toilet of cyberspace are plenty enough for me to read.
Here are some other pics for you to photoshop:
Way to research your article Friend O!
On second thought, I will switch gears and argue with Care Bears, Fluff and Nuttn’ Sandwiches, and intellect. Like Red Planet.
Damn you Presidnet Obama! Sure, you have time to show a little nipple or shoot hoops with the elite basketball players at UNC, but you can’t hang out with Trekkies? Like every other President? Bush even put Uhura on staff.
You? You hire a Jew with a missing… warm personality.
President Obama, while I can’t speak for Red Planet, I think I’ll engage in one of their “open letters” they might use that aren’t really letters but certainly are read by you and all Earthlings.
You are a terrorist President Obama. How dare you order a movie into the White House Theater? That you built. In 1940.
You make statements like “I don’t like Next Generation” when we all know you want to hoard all things Star Trek to yourself. A liberal, commie, socialist like you treats all Star Trek’s equally. We here at Red Planet believe only the strong Star Treks should survive.
Transparency? Transparency my Klingon ass! Sir.
If you were so transparent, you would admit, like all Real Americans, the guy from Quantum Leap should never have been a captain. Or whatever. C’mon. Scott Bakula’s latest role is on Chuck. Please tell me you don’t watch Chuck.
What’s that? You watch Chuck? That sir, is an impeachable offense.
Tags: Bill Clinton, Dwight D. Eisenhower, George W. Bush, No Country For Old Men, President Obama, Red Planet, Red State, Red State Is Full Of Shit, Star Trek, The White House Theatre Room, Warner Todd Huston