July 5, 2009
Hi! How are ya? As you may have heard, I will be resigning as governor of the great state of Alaska. I hope we can keep this letter confidential and I trust you will take this to your grave.
Do you like polar bears? I do. I know you had a chimp once. Bubbles the chimp. Why did you name the chimp “Bubbles?” You should have asked me for a good name. Sorry, let me get back on point. Polar Bears.
You know the climate in Alaska is important? And, pipelines? Sometimes, moose will cross over the pipelines in Alaska. Todd will take the snow machine and try to run over a moose. It’s fun. You have to get up a pretty good amount of speed otherwise, you could die. The moose’s weight would probably kill you. Especially you. I mean, how do you keep off that weight?
Do you ever feel alone? Do you like the snow? Alaska is great. Brussell sprouts are good for you.
I know the media constantly attacks you, and, as mayor of Alaska, I can understand. Which is why I’m stepping down. Outside of Alaska there are things. Musical things. I feel like we should, you know, “cut an album together.” This will be important since your tour has been canceled for some reason. We can send the world a message and revitalize both of our careers.
What do you think? Check “A” if you think it’s a good idea, and check “B” if you do not. Think it’s a good idea.
A [ ]
B [ ]
Your Thrilla’ In Wasilla,