Posts Tagged ‘Hot Air’

Match Game D.C.

June 17, 2009

Let’s get right down to the game shall we?  You all know the rules.  I read a question and all you have to do is fill in the blank and match them with the answers from our panel of some dead, some living, game show hosts.   Let’s meet them now…

The original host of Match Game and consummate lover of three-ways with Mark Goodson and Bill Todman:  Say hello to Dead  Mr. Gene Rayburn.    Next, a man sharing one harmonious melody with kung fu:  Dead Mr. Ray Combs.  Our next host is alive and claims he’d pop a cap in your ass if you fuck with him: Say hello or else to Mr. Chuck Barris.  And our last dead game show host, Drew Carey.

Remember, this show has never been known to use sexual innuendo or anything of the sort, so, keep it clean.  Contestants have flipped a coin backstage and it has been decided that Jim will go first.  Jim…



UPDATE: Obama Rigged Iranian Election

June 14, 2009

obama muslim

UPDATE: Protracted deliberations over the political implications of President Obama’s direct interference in the Iranian elections are finally at an end.  With the use of an “UPDATE” in the forthcoming text of this article, set out to prove (without the use of post hoc logic) the veracity of the above styled headline, fair-minded, sober conclusions can be reached.

Most experts with degrees and vast experience in the highly specialized area of foreign policy  with Iran in the year 2009 tried to trumpet a call to arms after pronouncing, “Obama Hails Rigged Election.”  Despite the in depth analysis of the previously linked article, it had no “UPDATES.”

UPDATE: Hot Air’s Allahpundit, (note to self: probaby a fair arbiter of issues given his/her birth name) wrote a detailed commentary on the Iranian election yesterday and how “Barry” might proceed in Iran.   Not sure if Allahpundit cares for “Barry.”  UPDATE:  SINCE WRITING THE ARTICLE YESTERDAY, ALLAHPUNDIT UPDATED FOUR “UPDATES.”  QUITE POSSIBLY THE HEADLINE WAS UPDATED.  UPDATE:  DEVELOPING…

UPDATE: Take cover!  The Huffington Post is cornering the market on “UPDATES.”  This comes as no surprise from a socialist blog run by some Marxist gal from Alabama, but, have they no shame?  “Iran Updates (VIDEO): Live-Blogging The Uprising.”  UPDATE:  UPDATE YOURSELF BY READING A BLOG ABOUT “UPDATES.”

UPDATE: Fareed Zakaria at CNN will be updating the site with video today from his blasphemous show which has careful judgment and well-rounded thinkers.  UPDATE: No videos updated to the GPS website.

UPDATE:  As I write this article I must reach a conclusion.

UPDATE: President Obama rigged the Iranian election.

UPDATE AND BREAKING: Mary Phillips-Sandy at Comedy Central’s Indecision updated the cyber-zine this morning  with the following update: “Iranian Elections: Your Morning Riot Update

Chaos raged in Iran this weekend as Mir Hossein Moussavi’s supporters continued to protest the results of last week’s election: despite brutal crackdowns by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s police forces, thousands of Iranians have remained on the streets of Tehran, risking their lives to demand fairness and justice.Here’s just one eyewitness account of the turmoil…

Aerial television footage showed people jumping on a police car, rocking vehicles attempting to pass through the crowd, setting small trees on fire and throwing fireworks and flares set up by police.

UPDATE: More violence erupted in the far west region of La where magic spells could not make the rioting disappear.

UPDATE, BUT BROKEN EARLIER: Fareed Zakaria updated his website with updated videos from yesterday (which were the same ones aired yesterday but not updated on the GPS website).  Details next Sunday.

UPDATE: Republicans join Klingons in assault on President Obama’s handling of the Iranian Elections.

Republicans, who never met a problem they didn’t want to solve by opening a can of Blood Wine with a bat lethe and grunting out some threatening-sounding gibberish.  That might [will] get you points at Klingon Fight Club …

DOWNDATE: See previous “updates” where I had already updated this type of occurrence yesterday (“Obama Hails Rigged Election“).  Duh.  We already know actually Obama rigged the election.  Himself.   Personally.

EXCLUSIVE: Obviously, Klingons are involved and must help Republicans.    Unfortunately for the rest of the blogosphere, they do not have the Futurific Iranian Conflation Gizmo I do.

Conservatives Empathize With Plight Of Conservative Women In Playboy

June 1, 2009

playboyHow do you begin an article about “hate-fucking” famous conservative women?

A first sentence ought aspire to reach out and grab the reader’s larynx, but, the thinking dude’s writer I am does not want to employ some tawdry ploy such as that.  Further, I just can’t think of a hook to really encapsulate the gravamen of the forthcoming.   At the moment, I think it better merely to set out and calmly explain the issue.  It has to do with doing it.

Some Guy (link removal explained in the previous article I shall not link to) from Playboy ran a column of the top 10 conservative women he would like to “hate-fuck.”  Guy deftly entitles his article, “So Right, It’s Wrong.”  Personally, I had never thought of this play on words.  Hmph.  Better press on.

In a spirit of love, peace, and harmony (values all Americans share) the author elucidates a novel theory of working across party lines.  A way to reach out and touch:

Michele Bachmann

Who: Bachmann is a lusty congresswoman from the Twin Cities who’s got some great twins of her own. She’s rumored to have a Clinton-level libido, and with that batshit-crazy look in her eyes you just know she’s a screamer.

How Could You? She’s called for McCarthy-esque investigations into the patriotism of her fellow congressmen, encouraged armed revolution against the White House-backed cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions and suggested an AmeriCorps bill would lead to re-education camps. We could go on.

The Hate Fuck Rating: Chemical castration has begun to look appealing.

Abashedly I admit, I read Playboy almost exclusively for the content.  “For the articles:”

The magazine’s roster of contributors was as distinguished as any in English-language journalism. Vladimir Nabokov, John Cheever, John Updike, Irwin Shaw, William Styron, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and such cartoonists as Dedini, Barsotti, Kliban: they could be the front table at a New Yorker banquet. Skeptics suspected that Hefner got the second-best from the best, or work the New Yorker had rejected, and that Playboy settled for B material from the A team in order to appropriate their literary celebrity. Some folks in publishing had a dismissive term for Playboy fiction: “shit from names.”

But that depends on your definition of shit. In the 60s and 70s, much New Yorker fiction had a sere, affectless style — embodied (or disembodied) by the stories of Donald Barthelme — that spoke to a narrow band of Manhattan intelligentsia. Playboy spread its net to include all forms of fiction, from Styron and Ken Kesey to the science fiction of Ray Bradbury and Philip K. Dick. Further, The New Yorker could intimidate readers into accepting its crabby tone, because the magazine knew best; it really was written for a certain kind of New Yorker. Playboy had to sell each story to consumers from every level of sophistication. They bought the magazine to look; often they stayed to read.

Yes.   Something Wicked This Way Comes.  Something for the wise fool apparently.

After hearing some of the outcry from the left and right, I must confess, I’ve never seen such division and inconsistency on the blogosphere.  Certainly, Playboy’s (now defunct) policy of boning the likes of Michelle Malkin and Michelle Bachmann is something we can all get behind eh fellas?

Not so fast.  Tommy Christopher, guardian of liberal values and gatekeeper of Conservative chastity-belts nationwide, trumpets a call to boycott Playboy and rightfully exposes Playboy’s surreptitious hatred of all women.

Over the years, “tasteful” porn dinosaur Playboy Magazine has been the subject of pop cultural debate for decades. Is the nudity exploitation, or

empowerment? Does the magazine celebrate women, or degrade them? If so, are the articles really worth all of that?

I received several of the answers via my Twitter feed this morning. Washington Times columnist Amanda Carpenter sent this jawdropper about the magazine’s latest feature:

“I’m in Playboy for GOP women they’d like to “hate f***” They didn’t even get my employer right. What should I do? Mon 01 Jun 11:51 via web

I’m steamed. That list is vile, insulting and WRONG on factual matters. Mon 01 Jun 11:54 via web”  …

I outgrew my fascination for Playboy magazine the very instant I was able to purchase one for myself. Hopefully, any other men who claim to love women will kick the habit, too

What’s this?  Empathy?  Empathy for the plight of a woman?  All women?  Conservative women?  By a man?  Impossible.  How dare Mr. Christopher step in the the pumps of even his most ardent rivals and try to imagine how it must feel to be objectified?  What a jerk.  And just what does Mr. Christopher mean by “‘Tasteful’ porn dinosaur?” I have often found porn dinosaurs to be a bit large a course for my dainty appetite.

Folks, I must be honest, I intend to follow Mr. Christopher’s advice about kicking the Playboy habit despite not having one.  While I might have a different view on empathy, the argument concerning imminent destruction of my Playboy collection in the ol’ shoebox beneath the bed must go.  For, in order to love women, I must never read Playboy again.  Thus, I propose a bonfire of the maladies.  Burn them.   Burn them all.

Later, I hope to find a categorical policy on matters such as this like Mr. Christopher.

Suffice it to say, Mr. Christopher must not be swayed by The Right’s reaction at Hot Air and their “two Wrongs make a Right” theory on metaphysics and epistomology.  (See the boldface?  I can make that joke too!  Maybe I’m Playboy’s next Ray Bradbury)

As Ed Morrissey reported, Playboy is now doing a feature called “Top 10 conservative women we’d love to hate f***.”

Playboy writes about conservative women in a way that would have the angry hags from the NOW picketing outside their bunny-clad doors if they did anything remotely similar about liberal women — though I don’t know whey they’d be so ticked off — it’s not like anybody from NOW would be on the list.

Figuring that one good spurn deserves another (after all, what liberal doesn’t like “fairness”?), I thought I’d return the favor.

Oh sweet vengeanceBlow that Hot Air baby.  Show me the money shot…