Michael Swaim, a human being, accidentally intercepted some of Dick Cheney’s “torture” emails and has been detained in isolation at an undisclosed location ever since. Surrounded by an army of steroid freaks, my team of expensive gumshoes here at Cube surreptitiously cracked the case and found this note in his prison cell:
The ACLU have been trying to get the government to release the photos for a while now, hoping to build a criminal case against officials and guards who committed interrogation techniques they say constitutes torture. Meanwhile, the guys from the Bush Administration maintain that they worked within the confines of the law…
And that’s where it ends.
Apparently, Mr. Swaim is being transferred to another country for tea and questioning on literary devices. Because Swaim is from San Diego, it came as no surprise he was Iced immediately upon his capture.