Posts Tagged ‘Bill Clinton’

President Obama, Please Take The Witness Stand!

July 28, 2009

“Beer here!  Get your ice-cold beer!  How about you sir?  Or you?  Beer?  Please?  Maybe a nice sparkling wine?”

Unless you have been breathing fresh air and enjoying the forgotten frivolities of life over the past week, in one way or another, you’ve made some sort of stand and are caught in the middle of the pop-off at the Cambridge Corral.  President Obama is set to meet with Professor Gates and Sergeant Crowley on Thursday for beers at the White House.  All three are poised to shoot the breeze about race relations and learn from this very “teachable moment.”  Ironically, the one person who might be taught a lesson in the law of unwittingly becoming a witness is President Obama.

In this not so tepid climate concerning race relations, police misconduct, and alleged unpleasantness hurled at an officer’s “mama,” there is one kernel of veracity everyone can agree on — President Obama is already in the unique position of personally speaking with both parties.  Without question, Mr. Obama is a witness to statements made by both Sergeant Crowley and Professor Gates.

This raises a somewhat novel question left unaddressed by every major and minor media outlet in the world (yes, this is a Cube exclusive) — will Obama have to produce sworn testimony as a witness at some point should the legal napalm drop?  Yes.

The president is privy to conversations which would absolutely be relevant to any sort of lawsuit launched by either party.  Crowley stated he is contemplating suing Gates for “defamation.” Certainly, Gates has a plethora of options if he decides to sue Crowley and the Cambridge Police Department.

The constitutional implications of a sitting president being compelled to testify as a non-party witness (in deposition, interrogatories, or actual live testimony should a trial ensue) are, at a minimum, murky. Issues with regard to immunity would probably arise at the behest of any White House Counsel worth a darn, however, this is not a case where the President is being sued or charged with a crime — he is a witness.  This much, one can easily conclude.  Furthermore, whether his testimony is taken during or after his term is not an issue.  At some point, should a lawsuit hit the court files, President Obama will be a witness.  Statements by the parties are unquestionably discoverable under the rules of civil procedure (both federal and state).

As luck would have it, we can look to the case of William Jefferson Clinton v. Paula Courbin Jones for some guidance.  In fact, we can go all the way back to the treason case of Aaron Burr when he popped a cap in Alexander Hamilton and killed him in a pistol duel to the death.  While not on all fours and barking, Clinton v. Jones speaks to this and other matters concerning the sworn testimony of a sitting president.  Justice Stevens cites a few examples of such in our rich history:

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Trekkies! Set Phasers On Retard! Target: Planet Red State

May 11, 2009
obamaspock

Salon.com

The trouble with drivels.

An “article” caught my gnat-egg attention span long enough to spot this huge pile of cyber-chlamydia worth mentioning here on this scholarly blog.

Warner Todd Huston, a blogger at Red State [herenafter referred to as “Red Planet”], had a massive upheaval of beanies and weenies, bile, barbed-wire, and a bullshit objection to a private screening of Star Trek at The White House.

Ladies and Gentleman.  Cyber-Trekkies of all ages!  Step right up and witness the most ginormous and eye-popping title for an article worthy of submission to The Guinness Book Of World Records:  “Noblesse Obligee:  The One Wants his OWN Star Trek Showing.  I know Spock Mr. Obama.  You Are No Spock.”

Look, before I block quote and briefly disembowel this faux-piece, I do so realizing it will be more fun to agree with Red Planet.  Argument from an absurdity is not Warner Todd Huston’s (of Compton, L.A originally perhaps) intent when he penned his prose.  The effect is the unintentional surfacing of ramblings resembling a low-grade moron.  An absurdity.  Harleywash.  A fellow so bent on keeping Star Trek to himself, his use of  post hoc reasoning is as close to the word “logic” he will ever get.

I will repeat this later, but it bears mentioning now:  There is absolutely no defense, none, to the Red Planet endorsement of this work as being funny.  One, Red Planet is incapable of comedy.  Two, this isn’t funny unless you like limp penises.  C) You have no defenses except my better argument on your side at the end of my brilliance.

Therefore, much like this avante garde wordsmith, shortly I shall literally agree with the Prince of willful blindness.  Why?  Why not?  It elucidates the evil Star Trek analysis to a tee when done by me.  I love playing The Devil’s Advocate.

But first, off to leave intensives all over cyberspace and eviscerate Red Planet.  Here’s what this blogger, like me, Dickens all over the place:

Of course, it all makes one wonder how one of Star Trek’s titular characters might view Obama’s demands? One might imagine that the self-centered assumptions of privilege would not be looked upon as anything other than a gross example of the human failing of arrogance born of a too healthy dose of self-esteem.

It’s all not very logical. No, not logical at all,

Yes.  That just occurred to me.  WWFKD?  What Would Fucking Kirk Do?  Perhaps consult the history books and learn that private screenings at The White House have been held since the release of, oh I don’t know, BIRTH OF A NATION?

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I Didn’t Know You Were A DeadHead!

April 20, 2009

chelsea20clinton

Now you know why we have that expression.

From Wikipedia… (Do I really need to link that?)  No.