Posts Tagged ‘Michael Jackson’

Lessons From Michael Jackson’s Memorial: R.I.P. Robert McNamara

July 7, 2009

Overshadowed in the wake of Michael Jackson’s memorial service, Sarah Palin’s hyperventilation, The KGB implanting a honing beacon in Barack Obama’s brain making him go all Manchurian on our asses, and the effects of a societal overdose of Fruit and Fiber, is the untimely passing of a true American and author of Sorry I Killed The ZipsRobert McNamara.

Share (and click on Hyperventilation)!

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Before And After: Peter King Of Pop

July 6, 2009

Representative King pontificated a  cryptic and vague message on the psychology of society and why it reveres Michael Jackson.  King was soft.  Like a child with a smooth, bald, head; stricken with cancer whom Michael liked to molest, Peter King was soft in his tone.

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A Letter From Sarah Palin To Michael Jackson

July 5, 2009

Alaka Seal

July 5, 2009

Dear Michael!

Hi!  How are ya?  As you may have heard, I will be resigning as governor of the great state of Alaska.  I hope we can keep this letter confidential and I trust  you will take this to your grave.

Do you like polar bears?  I do.  I know you had a chimp once.  Bubbles the chimp.  Why did you name the chimp “Bubbles?”  You should have asked me for a good name.  Sorry, let me get back on point.  Polar Bears.

You know the climate in Alaska is important?  And, pipelines?  Sometimes, moose will cross over the pipelines in Alaska.  Todd will take the snow machine and try to run over a moose.  It’s fun.  You have to get up a pretty good amount of speed otherwise, you could die.  The moose’s weight would probably kill you.  Especially you.  I mean, how do you keep off that weight?

Do you ever feel alone?  Do you like the snow?  Alaska is great. Brussell sprouts are good for you.

I know the media constantly attacks you, and, as mayor of Alaska, I can understand.  Which is why I’m stepping down.  Outside of Alaska there are things.  Musical things.  I feel like we should, you know, “cut an album together.”  This will be important since your tour has been canceled for some reason.  We can send the world a message and revitalize both of our careers.

What do you think?  Check “A” if you think it’s a good idea, and check “B” if you do not.  Think it’s a good idea.

A [ ]

B [ ]

Your Thrilla’ In Wasilla,

Sarah Palin

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Unusable Signal! Happy Fourth!

July 4, 2009

Come celebrate the fourth appearance by at least one of the Ris brothers. Be afraid! The wild and zany brothers from East St. Louis (or thereabouts) have some surprise in store for you and Dylan is known to carry a switchblade. It’s the greatest tube show in tube show history baby! Comedy Central alumni Dylan and Ethan Ris will be on hand to help me funnel Diprivan and discuss Sarah Palin.

Tonight!  11:00 PM EST  Click here for Milk Of Amnesia.

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Michael Jackson’s Last Shot

July 1, 2009

jackson

And this was not Michael Jackson’s last shot…

(more…)

Lessons From Michael Jackson: Loving O.J. Simpson

June 28, 2009

Do you remember the time?  Conjuring up images of O.J. Simpson today come easy and always, at least for me, has beautiful, almost God like, mythological and legendary Greek music accompanying his grace.  A magnificence we were all truly blessed to witness.  Fondly, I think back to speed and moves never before seen in entertainment and yearn for the carefree days of O.J’s youth.  Please.  I beg of you.  This is what we should focus on:

[O.J. is an] American collegiate and professional gridiron football player who was a premier running back known for his speed and elusiveness. …

Simpson, who was often called “Juice” because of his energetic runs and because his initials could stand for “orange juice.”

He’s the “Juice.” O.J. Simpson will always be known as the “Juice.”

O.J. has now retired to a small efficiency unbecoming of a king and legend.  What’s important for all of us to remember is the glow he filled all of our hearts with.   Of equal value — we should praise O.J. at this moment in time, you know, while he’s living.  Why can’t there be more tributes to the truly great soles of the world while they walk the earth?

“I really don’t want to discuss the negatives” about O.J. Simpson, said a childhood friend of someone else having nothing to do with O.J.  I’ll take the high road too and here’s why:

O.J. was not guilty.  That’s the truth and the law.  Yet sometimes, the law makes mistakes.  Which explains his second trial.  Furthermore, by taking the “high road,” I mean high roads with some unnecessary pit stops.

Personally, I’m tired of being drenched with the verbal sewage spewing from all these naysayers and immoral people on MSM.   O.J.’s entire family stood by his side and that’s good enough for me.  Think about Sydney.  Think about Justin.

Those who pilfer in spreading these disgusting, untrue, and vicious lies about O.J. should be dunked headfirst by the ankles into the river Styx.

O.J. was a “good boy.”  Every mother who has and cares for her son understands this.  Love.  That first feeling of love you have when you embrace a newborn — that’s O.J.!  That’s how we should remember him — with the love and adoration God shines down upon each one of His miracles.  Even ones not quite dead yet.  Love is all you need.

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UPDATE: Unsuable Signal

June 27, 2009

unusable signal

Show cancelled due to battle with my stomach.

Justice Thomas Writes Concurring Opinion On Strip Search Case

June 26, 2009

Sorry.

Technically, the other King Of Pop concurred with the dissent on strip search cases.  I apologize.  Like, I’m really sorry.  Legal jargon can be confusing.


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