With everyone all up on the twitter tip when it comes to their green tinted avatars, we here at Cube have some items you should totally consider in our revolution to overthrow Iran. This show of solidarity is far more important than utilizing twitter as some technological means to advance a just cause. In fact, I loathe the argument that going green for freedom somehow makes the twitterer in question an easier mark for Iranian agents waiting in the bushes to slit your throat and pull your tounge down through your neck and use it as a falafel. They call that, an “Iranian Necktie.” Keeping the possibility of your assassination at bay for a moment, because that threat is imminent and real, here are some items for your consideration:
6. Vibratex Koi Vibrator
Hello Ladies! Show those oppressed women in Iran what they’ve been missing with this beatuiful, green, electric, erotic pleasure avatar. Bonus! Tell Ahamadinejad to stimulate his vagina with it. Double Bonus: If you are gay, reach out to the gays in Iran who are invisible and show them the wonders of green freedom for their non-existing penis-craving anuses.
5. The Emotional Avatar
Jealous?
4. Better Lives For Farmers
Now, at first blush, this might confuse the less informed supporter of protests. I mean, we have a red sheep and a green sheep. To the untrained eye, dueling sheep with DNA programmed to destroy rival sheep might seem like an issue, I assure you, these sheep are for the liberation of the Iranian people. After explaining Obama’s call to unity, and the longstanding tradition of lonely farmers in Iran, what better way to bang a sheep than for them to have the color of their choosing. Courtesy of Americana — Maddona and the sheep she treats like Easter Eggs. Remember, be sure to tell fellow twitterers you are more on the green sheep’s side otherwise you might be debeaked for those against peace and harmony amongst sheep, farmer, nation, and Allah.
3. Teach The Children Darwinism
2. Show Them God!
What better way than to show your green support with the wonderful colors of Christmas.
1. The Dinner Jacket
Well, there you have it folks. The latest in green avatarwear. Dinner Jackets, Tropical Forrests, Wrestlers, Sheep, Christmas Trees and Dildos.
Bear down.
Fight!
It’s time we take it to the tweets.
But this one goes to seven.
Tags: Cool Green Avatars For Iran, Free Dildos, Free Green Avatars, Free Iran Free Green Avatars, Green, Green Avatars, Green Christmas Tree, Green Protest On Twitter, Green Vibrator, Iran, Iran Declares War On Twitter, Iran Threatens Online Community, Kind Bud, Marijuana, Northern Lights, Show Your Support With Green, Support Iran Protesters On Twitter, The Missing Link, Twitter
June 20, 2009 at 3:40 pm |
Really now. Kermit would have been sufficient!
I do love the ‘Bud-shot’ though.
Really makes my bong stand up.
June 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm |
You ever let your tags get longer than the post?
I hate it when that happens.
June 20, 2009 at 4:50 pm |
First of all, thank you very much sir. Some people do not get the point. You do.
The tags are part of the game. Sometimes I use them as satire. Basically, on this, I want people to have a debate over just doing something for the sake of doing it (going green just to do it) versus actually helping.
In the link on the first paragraph, you will notice Iran actually has declared war on electronic media. Electronic media is vital to helping Iranians communicate. Some do this. Others, just paint themselves green to look cool. Others, don’t even go on twitter and just help as best they can. The key here is: Solidarity and unity is great. Then, people shit on Obama? Our leader in foreign policy? Or they paint themselves green to be with the cool kids. Or, they paint themselves green because it’s a better look.
Do you think I want an end to terror in Iran? Of course you do. Any sane person understands this. Some, mark my words, will not. The point of satire, sometimes, is to stimulate debate.
People are getting real pissed off about this. Think my intent here is to call attention to the bullshit green visor and to get people to really come together? Hmmm. Think maybe I left some open to interpretation for a reason? Maybe to address existential concerns about twitter, and, how to conquer them. Possibly. Think I am intentionally vague at times for a reason? Or that I conflate absurdities to make a point? Or, does everyone have a direct pipeline into my skull.
Some have called this “brilliant.”
Others claim I have struck a wrong chord.
I say, figure it out.
June 20, 2009 at 5:04 pm |
Cube, just a couple of questions. In the Christmas tree shot, it looks like there is an outdoor privvy (as my dear departed grandma would call it) between the Christmas trees. Is there really an outhouse in your tropical forest??
The missing link looks suspiciously like one of my husbands. I was pretty sure I drove him to alcoholism and an early death. Where did you find him? Don’t tell him where I live.
Being the sweet, shy, extremely conservative grandma that I am, I won’t comment on the rest of your pretty pictures.
June 20, 2009 at 5:47 pm |
Hang on Kiddo. I’m updating the show…
If that’s you’re ex-husband, I know who he is. He’s a wrestler. He was actually a nice Missing Link.
June 20, 2009 at 5:57 pm |
[...] Cube Why You’re Here, I Don’t Know « 6 Green Avatars You Need To Destroy Iran [...]
June 20, 2009 at 8:56 pm |
Here’s that douche Moe Lane before he got the facts and jumped to conclusions:
1. @TommyXtopher :careful breathing: Possibly; but this is a BAD day for him to be sardonic.about 7 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to TommyXtopher
2. @TommyXtopher I’m sure that this “Cube” site will have many droll things to write about a young woman coughing out her life on camera.about 7 hours ago from TweetDeck
3. @TommyXtopher Slight correction: http://bit.ly/4nIXF making fun of throat-slitting. The shooting’s going on here: event:http://bit.ly/n50qL
Here’s a tweet the pussy got:
RT @rawls: @moelane Hello. Got something to say? Here I am. | Sure. Get off of my followers list.
You see, I had no idea he was talking shit about me. That’s because he’s a stain. He can’t say it to my non-face on twitter. So, when I tried to see what conclusions he jumped to, on a post retweeted and complimented, and then called him out, he went into a cave. Because he is wrong. Dead Wrong. Dead Wrong and a coward who won’t admit a mistake.
June 21, 2009 at 1:58 am |
Moe–you’re a douche. Just had to say it.
June 21, 2009 at 4:15 pm |
[...] gesture of solidarity with those protesters, many tweeps have turned their icons green. Some see this as a hollow gesture, while others see a down-payment on war with Iran, but the move is also symbolic of the frustration [...]
June 21, 2009 at 8:48 pm |
Some go green for a purpose. Others are just green. Some contradict themselves by writing ridiculous stories about ice cream and Obama. That’s solidarity?