Pittsburgh Steelers Linebacker James Harrison Trades Obama For 5th Round Pick And A Psychologist's Wet Dream

Roll The Tape!

Much like Miami Dolphins superstar linebacker Joey Porter after he nearly snubbed then President Bush when the Steelers won the Title a few years back, James Harrison takes a similar stance.  The only difference being, Harrison decided to skip seeing President Obama’s White House ceremony with The Steelers.  Well that and, Harrison’s a  retard:

“I don’t feel the need to go, actually,” Harrison told Pittsburgh station WTAE-TV. “I don’t feel like it’s that big a deal to me.”

Harrison is known for being an individualist whose on-field sullenness sometimes extends off the field as well.

Harrison, a backup at the time, and quarterback Tommy Maddox were among a handful of players who skipped the traditional White House visit by the Super Bowl champions in 2006. Maddox apparently was unhappy at being released after the season ended, although several other players who also weren’t with the Steelers any longer attended.

Former Steelers linebacker Joey Porter created a stir before that White House visit by saying he intended to tell Bush he didn’t like how the country was being run. Porter chose not to make those comments, but he wore dark sunglasses throughout the ceremony.

After Harrison’s big pay day, he was free to speak his “mind.”  Despite whatever consistencies you might see in his actions from president to president, rumors have surfaced he intends to join The Whig Party.   I mean, it could be argued this is a brilliant P.R. move to rid the country of the horrific two-party system.  It’s a Cube rumor exclusive.

Harrison’s goes by the affectionate nickname, “Deebo” — a Xanax popping loafer in the film, “Friday.”  He also played for the Rhein Fire in the defunct NFL Europa.  Most African-Americans learn valuable life lessons in Germany.

Most important in the history of James Harrison were his alleged acts of chivalry:

At a hearing today before District Judge Tara Smith of Bellevue, Mr. Harrison’s attorney, Robert Del Greco said his client had completed anger management counseling and that Ms. Tibbott did not want to prosecute.

The couple arrived separately but were friendly to each other in the courtroom. Mr. Del Greco said he believes they have reconciled.

Mr. Harrison had been charged with striking Ms. Tibbott with an open hand at her home on March 8 during an argument over their baby son’s baptism.

Hell, according to Skip Bayless, Chiromaniac. contra-contra contrarian and the above intellectual token Whitey on ESPN, apparently he implies one who beats the shit out of his girlfriend (allegedly) might even justify snubbing Obama at The White House. Based on the analysis in the previous link to “Bayless,” thats’ really not some pretzelized hot yoga stretch.  I mean, Bayless rightfully defends Harrison in the ESPN clip above and his argument is really not so absurd.  Harrison was not only “Defensive MVP,” he’s also Offensive MVP.

Do you know why Skip is such a lodestar?

His name is “Skip.”  He must be right.

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Tags: Best Damned Sports Show, Deebo And Friday, ESPN, James Harrison, Jets Suck, Joey Porter, Miami Dolphins, NFL EUROPA, Pittsburgh Steelers, President Obama, Rhein Fire, Rooney, Snub, Super Bowl, Tommy Christopher May Not See This But The Jets Are The Worst Team Ever, White House, Woman Beater Harrison